Moving SUCKS!!!

Friday is the official day, and because of Julianas passing I am a little under pressure. When I am settled- I will go see an exibit at a gallery in Soho where a Realdoll is on display. Visit the gallery website @ www.bitmaps.com and read about it- any doll related news is exciting to me!!!!

I am busy packing...so I've gotta run!


*the above photo is of Daniela V. spanking one of my dolls...nice boobs, huh?

Remember...

...this poem. It was read by the priest at Julianas funeral yesterday, and it really rings true for everybody.






The Dash
by Linda Ellis


I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars....the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash midrange.")

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they
say about how you spend your dash?


*the above photo is Catie Lee looking like fine art- which Juliana loved.

R.I.P.

After a 16 year battle with breast cancer, the beautiful Juliana has passed away. We will miss you dearly.

I've got nothin'...

-I found Bob Jamiesons email address, and wrote him, now we'll find out if he's full of shit.

-I emailed www.Nerve.com about my doll photography, I am positive but guarded.

-I am in the process of moving, which everybody knows sucks ass! The move day is May 9th...

-My good friend Daniela V. has made her debut in Playboy's Special Editions! Congratulations Honey!!

-I am under a tremendous amount of stress. ugh, stress.



*the above photo is my newest doll face, named Hana Samoza (she is the "Nika" face at www.RealDoll.com)

Dirty Old Men...

...are okay in my book. Right now I am highly interested in hearing from Bob Jamieson. The funny thing is, he offered his card- and I declined.

Why?

Because I am a fucking idiot.

The second we walked away my husband said, "why didn't you take his card?". I thought I was playing hardball- ugh. What a tard I am. The thing is, I couldn't walk back and take it- I would've felt like an idiot (but not nearly as big of an idiot as I feel like right now).

I know, I know...I am a fool.

I will play this over and over in my head- but I'm sure that every single one of you has probably made an equally foolish mistake in your own lives.

And knowing that- is what's keeping me off the ledge!!!


*The above photo is Realdoll Daniella Deville, shot in natural light.

Tribeca...

...is where we are moving. Not my first choice- fuck, it's not even my tenth choice (I am partial to Chelsea). But one thing we have learned, is that my husband will only live in Tribeca, and I will only live in a loft. A stalemate.

So here we are.

From Murray Hill to Tribeca.

We've handed off a check for a loft that the Real Estate agent and I have coined "The Jellybean Loft". Since this is no time to buy a home in nyc, we have decided to take an eighteen month lease to rent the loft. I am in deep love with it- but remain a skeptic. Because after all, this is nyc where nothing is set in stone. We are scheduled to move in early May...I am positive about it but guarded.

Since my last blog entry, I have been getting out there and trying to market myself. Here are the highlights:

-I marched into a magazine where I know the Editor, and plopped my portfolio down. The editor told me they are going to work with me. Yay! I am a bit skeptical- I'm Positive but guarded.

-James Graham introduced me to Eric Kroll at a gallery in the East Village. While we were there, some accountant performed the worlds lamest rap songs- I think he might have been on Ecstacy- because no lucid person would humiliate themselves the way he did.

-I signed up for two classes at ICP. One is telling stories with a photograph. Having studied film production at NYU in my youth- I learned all about symbolism...but telling an entire story in one frame was never the goal like it is with still photography.

-My husband and I met the semi retired President/CEO of RCA records in a restaurant, gave him my card and told him I am available to shoot anybody he wanted. He loved my work and assured me I would be hearing from him very soon. So yeah-I'm still a skeptic (positive but guarded).

I am bent on success.




*The above photo is Domo, shot in all natural light.

Polaroids.....

I'll miss them.

It seems as though the technology has yet to be licensed to another company. This kind of worries me a little bit. Polaroids remind me so much of the 70's, it would be tragic to see the demise of them. Remember "Body on Tap" shampoo and "The Weeble Wobble Treehouse"?

Well I do- and I would hate to see the beloved Polariod go the way of the Dodo bird.




*the above composite is some of my doll polaroids, sorry for the shit quality but I don't have a scanner- so that is literally a photograph of them.