Wednesday, October 24, 2012

she just likes to fight...

Sometimes life, you baffle me.

I don't know why things turn out the way they do. When things happen that change the direction of your destiny, you can't help but reflect on the meaning. People come into your life whilst others leave. Each person leaves behind something poignant. A nugget of truth. A lesson learned. A re-ignition.

I've had all of that and then some. I've yet to sort out the details, but that's what rainy days and weed are for...

My long lost sister (not blood, but that changes nothing) found me. I'm so happy she is doing well. She has traveled a road of razor sharp shards to be where she is, and she has found the easier path. I'm elated.

My health has improved vastly.

Went to Vegas. Changed my fucking life. Had an epiphany. Re-ignited.

I'm set to kick start my photography into high gear in a couple of more weeks. For now though, the work comes with labor as I'm healing from an October 5th surgery.

To help me along there's the annual photo expo here in NYC. It usually falls on my husbands birthday, so I've only been once over the past few years. But this year, it's a stand alone weekend that only coincides with football. I (of course) will be choosing Football on Sunday, but I digress. I have paid for ten "portfolio reviews" with industry insiders of my choosing. I've chosen all art people. Ten portfolio reviews over a three day period from people who own galleries, art magazines and the like.  I'm set to hear whatever they dish out! Secretly, I'm hoping it won't be too painful. But truth be told- I do love getting critiqued, it's always a huge learning experience.

And then theres the New York City gallery owner/partner that genuinely likes my work.

I was floored when he said my work is "fascinating". I had my first studio visit with him and his entourage (which is typical for artists of other mediums, i.e. painters). It went really well, and I loved every person he brought with him. Especially his tiny, adorable, spoiled dog named Mookie. I have a follow up meeting with said gallerist. Today in fact. He wants to see a much bigger selection of my work. This has forced me to face the body of work in it's entirety. And you know what I've concluded?

I have a lot of shit that I still need to shoot! These ideas have been ruminating. Festering even... and it's all crammed up inside of me, constipating my psyche.

Blame the gallerist, but I care again.

hugs and kisses...xo

*the above photo is what happens when you leave the room

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I'm better, but worse...

     I feel better.

     I need to post photos I have shot and not shared anywhere. Where else could I possibly post this shit? 

     What if I told you, that I don't care anymore.

     I don't care if I get my work in a gallery. I don't care if magazines publish my work. I don't care about getting my work in a coffee table book by Taschen. I don't, I just don't care anymore. I'll do what I do, because it makes me happy. I will shoot for Realdoll... but beyond that, I don't care. And honestly, why should I?
     It still echos in my head today... Years ago my friend Chip Willis told me that my work isn't for everybody. He said it's for one in ten, not ten out of ten. I finally think he's right. I am so sick of flogging a dead horse. My arms are tired. I give up.

     I don't care anymore.

hugs and kisses,

ladies who lunch, wasting time

* the above photos are of two wonderful dolls called Sybarites. you can buy your own at

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


     It's spring, and it's cold outside. I'm thinking I should make a post.

     Lots has changed, but I am still me. I need to warm up to the idea of letting it all hang out again, though I'm sure nobody is reading anymore. That's okay, because this was always here for me to chronicle my existence. I can share a secret with you, maybe that'll help to break the ice...

     I love the show 'Jerseylicious'.

     Pure lunacy, I know. But there is something about those gaudy girls that I can't get enough of!!!!! It's got to be the Italian blood coursing though my veins that first attracted me to the show... but here I am, a bona fide fan. ugh.

     So besides my complete lack of taste in television, I've been painting on canvas again. I still take photos every single day, but now I also paint. I needed it after my Mom died. An outlet if you will. I have a few pieces that I'm concurrently working on, but I've needed a break from that too. I've been sketching and creating other art with photos and paint markers. Just a bunch of weird shit. I've turned to art BIG TIME to help move on with my life. Galleries, museums, books about art history and collecting. I've even added a new addition to my small collection. It's a huge photograph from the artist Paulo Ventura.

An edition of ten from the series 'Behind the Walls' by Paulo Ventura

     Other things are happening too. I have some serious health issues, but I don't want to talk about it. Every day is a gift. Every fucking day. Since my issues with my crappy health have arisen, I've been shooting the love dolls and people a little less. But in the last few weeks, I have been ready to get back into it full swing despite my body's failures.

I've missed you.