Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The opposite of garbage dick (or, 'Why Retouching is king')...

I recently recieved an interesting phone call from an interesting person who offered me interesting pay to shoot his two "friends" from Florida. I obliged, thinking I would probably be shooting your average cute Florida chicks. No problem.

Well suffice to say I was a bit perturbed, when I met the was more than obvious these two were in no way models. But I was going to try and make them look like models. They styled themselves and did their own hair and make up. So, I failed to make them look like models. No biggie. But I am not taking the responsibility on this one. This is NOT a case of garbage dick. This is just me selling my skills/soul to average folk.

*the above before and after is two regular...uh, girls.

This blog post was made for Cristi!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

retouching sucks...

...conversely, out-takes rule!!

*the above photo is not yet retouched- that's Cristi, my baby Mikey, and the rubber hussies.

the best!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

If I were a dude...

I would be a garbage dick.

At least that's what my husband calls me. When we walk around the city, I point out attractive girls that I think are do-able (which apparently happens far too often). My hubby agrees with about 1/3 of my picks, and calls me crazy the rest of the time. I don't care if a girl is plump, or short, or skinny and boobless! If she has a pretty face and caries herself well- I'd hit it.

...if I were a dude, that is.

Don't confuse my lax taste for the average female, to be on par with women I would photograph. Those are two totally different worlds!!!

*the above photo is Ami, she is both "photograph-able" and "do-able"

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

tee hee... was the sneakers, not my feet after all!

(see post below)

*and once again, the stunning Saglara

I'm Slowly Turning Into You...

Isn't it funny how the longer you're with someone, the more you start to pick up each others traits.

My socks smelled like my husbands toes after a shoot yesterday.

That is fucking disturbing.

Have you ever smelled my husband's toes? Not good, people. There are people who actually never take the time to scrub their feet. Now, I'm not saying that it's all men in-particular...but I have noticed a trend amongst most men I've known- to skimp out on this very important step in personal hygiene. Let's just say my husband is from the school of thought that, "the soapy water has to pass over the feet, so they're clean".

I however take overly indulgent showers- taking extra caution to scrub in between each individual toe with a washcloth!!! So you see, my feet should smell like daisies- not like my hubby's feet!

Sorry I didn't post for awhile, I think from now on, when there has been a period of time where life is dull and consists of little more then dinner out and some over due retouching...I will post photos or something just to let you all know I am thinkin' bout this blog and those that like to read it!!!

On a side note; an update if you will:

My Husband and I have been together for a long time now. We've been through some rough patches- but in the face of a crisis (the ol' Strokey McGee thing) your relationship strength is challenged. It is then that you learn how important your partnership really is. Since the stroke, my husband and I, have each put 100% into making our marriage stronger. I wish I could bottle the emotions we've gone through together- and our ability to resolve our issues. I am proud that we are both on the same page. I was really worried about my marriage...I'm not now. And why should I?

We fucking rock together.

*the above photo is Saglara. She is a fashion model and therefore she is clothed! I am sorry to disappoint my fellow perverts, but every once in awhile the naughty takes a back seat to beauty. Saglara is stunning. A living doll from Russia.