Word up!

...saw this headlining on AOL today and I couldn't agree more. They can start by finally publishing my Employee of the Month feature, as a doll photographer. Or they can publish a doll pictorial shot by me (they have a mock up of my book and Hef is scared of the dolls!). Anyway, here is the article (click the pic for full size):

sexual dirt...

...this series is as raunchy as it gets. But you won't see it here. I shot this series of a RealDoll ™ with a realgirl a few months ago, and only recently got around to retouching the final edits. I still have seven more to go before I am done!! These are by far the naughtiest photos I have EVER taken, and the model is STELLAR for having the guts to do things like this. Her name is Isobel Wren, and she has a pay site bearing the same name. I assume that these photos will be available to view for a membership fee, and deservedly so!!!





I have to take a breather between retouching the photos...hell, I have to take a cold shower!!!!!





is it hot in here?




*the above photo is Isobel Wren , and the series is actually in color. You can see LOTS more of Isobel @ www.IsobelWren.com

thanks...

...for the advise and kind words everybody. It's nice to know you guys are out there and that some of you can relate. Those that can't- you're better off!!! Anyway, the husband and I are still all weird...I miss "us".


What the hell is happening?


so...

Let's move on shall we???? I want to talk about my newest doll face. She is a BoyToy seasons, Autumn. I received the first one, with the task of photographing her for the BoyToy website (www.BoyToyDolls.com). I will confess right now, that I think this is the prettiest doll face I have seen yet. She reminds me of so many beautiful faces that I have seen before all rolled into one. Her wide set eyes are very Kate Moss, and the fact that they're light brown adds to the dreamy look.










* the above pics are of my newest hussy, Roxanne Malone.

deeper into the abyss...

Sometimes things just go wrong. Not because of any fault of your own- they just do.

I don't know why I give a shit, but tonight something happened that I found to be very hurtful. First a brief history lesson: I grew up in Brooklyn and we were never rich. In New York city the rich rub noses with the rich, the poor, and everything in between. Currently I live in a wealthy area of NYC where people have more money than you can fathom. I don't fit in with the label whore/ Park Ave. Princess type rich folk, because in my core, I still feel like the girl from Brooklyn who never had too much (or even enough for that matter).


Cut to tonight...

In the local gourmet grocery store armed only with a gold American Express, I bought some groceries for tomorrow. Maybe because it was 11:30 at night, maybe because I was wearing sneakers and jeans. Regardless, I don't know why but the lady accused me of using stolen credit cards. I was never so instantly angered and hurt all at once. Why did she assume I was a criminal? Could she tell underneath it all that I was just a poor kid from Brooklyn? She told me she would no longer accept credit cards from me.

There I was in jeans and sneakers, wearing 2 karat diamond earrings and a wedding band that would blind you. Unconfident (from my recent bout of depression) and shaken I yelled at her, "Are you kidding me? Lady, I'm rich!". Just then my doorman came in (his shift wasn't for another 30 minutes). I felt like an asshole for saying that- but I was really hurt and extremely embarrassed. That has never happened to me in my life. Not even when I actually was broke.

I left the store and began to cry on my walk home. When I came in and tried to tell my husband what happened, he didn't even look up from his newspaper to feign interest. I didn't get four sentences out, or to the part where she was horrible to me. I just stopped talking, left the room and went into my studio. I began to cry so hard it hurt my tummy, and he still never came out to see what happened (even though I prefaced the whole thing with, "something awful just happened to me"). Couple that with the sex that I get once a month, and you'll know why I'm a mess right now.


I used to be forbidden to discuss my marriage here in this blog, but he doesn't even read it anymore.






ouch.


*the above photo is of Amy again...she has that whole Marilyn Monroe thing going on in this photo- a certain vulnerability we all have.

"Just the facts, ma'am"

So now that the issue of Park magazine, which has my feature in it is officially over- I will post the interview in it's entirety. Especially for those that do not read or speak French. This was the questionnaire as it appeared when I replied to the lovely Sandra via email. Since the article has been published, two things have changed- I have turned 37 and Penthouse published 4 solid pages of my photos and didn't credit me once...but Penthouse is a disgusting piece of shit rag anyway!

Park: Stacy, who are you ?
Me: I am an artist that grew up in New York City. I am a product of gentrification, pop culture, divorce and the public school system. I have no siblings and I am a solitude person.


Park: How do the "others" describe you ?
Me: I am often told I am a lot of fun and outgoing, as well as positive with a killer sense of humor. The worst thing ever said about me, is there is no filter between my brain and my mouth....which I suppose means I say a lot of stupid things!


Park: How would you like the others to see you ?
Me: I am not sure that I have thought about that...If I have to choose a way to be seen- it would as a visionary.


Park: How old are you ? Where do you live ?
Me: I am a 36 year old, married photographer who resides in Tribeca NYC. I currently have a cat- but we are trying for children!


Park: For how long have you been a photographer ?
Me: I was a film student at NYU, but I never graduated. I dropped out because the cost was too much for me to handle at the time. Sometimes I wish I had finished, maybe one day I will. I have been shooting for three years steadily, but really I have been shooting since I was a child. I still have photos I shot at around age 9 with a 110 mm camera. If you can believe it, the photos are of my Barbie dolls!!!!!!


Park: Did you have personnal shows ? If so, when, with wich art galleries ? What was the name of the exhibitions ?
Me: I have only been involved in group art shows. Here in the states, my art is considered erotic in nature and because it isn't shot in black and white it doesn't get treated as art....yet!!!! I am not really sure America understands my art. We [USA] as a country proclaim to be free- but the judgement made towards my art is so visceral- I find it scary at times.


Park: Where have your REALDOLL pictures been published ?
Me: I have been published mostly in Europe, but have had my work published in "adult" magazines here in the states. I am currently awaiting to hear from Playboy as well as Penthouse- but I don't believe either magazine will have the guts to publish my doll photos. Playboy has been back and forth about publishing my photos for over a year.


Park: How many Real Dolls do you have ? 2 ? Since when ? Why ? Did you purchase them ?
Me: I have had two for awhile now. I originally began shooting a competitors doll which I purchased with the intent of using her in my photography. The doll weighed 130 lbs., and me being only 5'2" could not move her around. I was constantly injuring my back!!!! I was contacted by Realdoll, and offered a trade- the competitors doll, for a Realdoll. I jumped at the chance to own a Realdoll so I traded with them and I have never looked back! I once had a Realdoll with huge breasts, but sadly she was broken from all the posing for my photography- so I gave her away. She was replaced with one of the dolls I have now.


Park: How many Real Dolls faces do you have ? 6 it seems, and 30 wigs...
Me: I have 8 faces and all of them have names! I named them because I inherently believe that just about anything with a face deserves a name. Besides naming the faces, added a persona to them that would be followed through in their respective photo-shoots. I have well over 40 wigs (I just purchased 3 more the other day).


Park: How did you encounter with the Real Doll company ? Did they contact you to take pictures ?
Me: I originally heard about Realdolls from a program on Cable television, called "Realsex" on HBO. I fell in love with them immediately and vowed to eventually own one. Eventually I went to the Adult Entertainment Expo held in Las Vegas every January. I bought my first Realdoll on the spot. She was a face 14 body 2, named Taylor Nishino. She still holds a special place in my heart! The company had seen my photos on the internet and emailed me about possibly working together. I called them, and the rest is history.


Park: What is the name of your Real Dolls ? Jaime, Ashley... How do you see them ? Only as dolls ?
Me: Naming Realdolls is a lot of fun! My dolls names are: Taylor Nishino, Tabitha Leone (she is the one I had to give away but the new owner kept her name) Tanya and Daniella Deville (they're sisters but they are different faces), Tiffany Keller, Ashley and Jamie Anderson (again, sisters but they're different faces) and Hana Samoza. Although I name the dolls, I only see them as objects- much in the same way men have affection for their cars. I have always been a fan of dolls, even as a child.


Park: Are your Real Dolls always an object of desire ? Are they, for you, always associated with erotica ou sexuallity ?
Me: My dolls are never an object of desire. For me, they are inspirational- I liken them to muse material for my art. I can look at them objectively, they're beautiful but I cannot get aroused by them.


Park: Do you speak to them while shooting ? Do they answer ?
Me: I do not speak to them ever really...I occasionally bump into a doll, and find myself apologizing- but than I laugh at myself for talking to them!!!!


Park: Are your Real Dolls a projection of yourself ? More than a "living model" would be ?
Me: I don't think the dolls are always a projection of myself- but a therapist might disagree. Sometimes I am really connected emotionally with the photos I have shot of the dolls, but other times my doll photos are just eye candy. I will say with complete candor, that I objectify the dolls much in the same way that I and millions of other women are objectified.....with a camera.


Park: When ever you're sad, or feeling blue, or totally dark, can you express it through your pictures of Real Dolls ?
Me: I find that photographing the dolls is one of the best ways to work out emotions. The inability to change the dolls expression makes it challenging, but I somehow seem to get that emotion across with lighting and small nuances.


Park: What did you feel the first time you touched the skin of a Real Doll ?
Me: I thought they felt cold and sticky- but the breasts were squishy like real breasts. It was very interesting, because I never even thought about the fact that they were cold so it shocked me a little bit. But I wanted one- cold or not!


Park: Where are your Real Dolls when you don't shoot them ?
Me: Generally it's best to keep the dolls hanging when not in use- but I move them around enough that they are never in one place for too long. Currently one of my dolls is in great need of repair. She is downstairs sitting nude in a chair over looking the billiard table. My other doll is sitting on the couch.....nude of course.


Park: What did you feel when you went to the Real Dolls company for the first time ?
Me: The first and only time I have ever been to the factory, was to shoot the dolls for the Realdoll website. I enjoyed meeting the folks who make the dolls- they are such an amazing group of people. There is a true feeling of camaraderie amongst doll people....even those that create them. When I left the factory, I had wished I owned every doll and face they had.


Park: Was it scary ? Wonderfull ? Did you feel you were among life or death or neither ?
Me: I am always amazed that people are afraid of the dolls. There is nothing scary to me. When I was a teenager, there was a store named Alexanders, that was going out of business. When they were having their last clearance sale, I asked how much for a mannequin? The man at Alexanders offered me six mannequins for $200- I begged my mom for the money and bought them. I had the mannequins in my bedroom until I was old enough to move out on my own, where the mannequins were placed sporadically around my apartment. I suppose I was preparing myself!!!! I have never thought of dolls or mannequins as dead people. Dead people are gross looking, the dolls are beautiful and most embody youth at its finest.


Park: Would you have a Real Doll made at your image ?
Me: I would not make a doll in my image if the only option was my current age! I would however, love to have a doll that looked like me in my prime...I modeled and was quite cute back then! I am sure my husband might actually find interest in the doll if it looked like me (he is totally indifferent to the dolls and has no desire to deal with them in any way....sadly!)


Park: How many minutes/hours to make a photo of a Real Doll ?
Me: A doll photo-shoot can take anywhere from 1 hour to 6 hours. I once worked on a photo that had two dolls in it. The dolls were in crazy poses that dolls shouldn't do. One doll was pulling the other dolls hair, and the dolls were falling over. When one doll was perfect, the others arm would drop. Nothing was going right and I was perspiring and cursing- but I got the shot. One shot after almost six hours, very frustrating. Had it been real girls, the shoot would have been over in 20 minutes.


Park: What do you prefer ? To shoot Real Dolls or "living" models ?
Me: I love shooting them both equally. They are so different to shoot, but the dolls take a lot more time, energy, and patience. With the dolls you have to be prepared to change your vision because of their inability to do certain poses. Humans are way easier to shoot.


Park: Do you think your art is to be published only in "sexy" magazines ?
Me: I certainly hope not. I have decided to shop my art around a lot more this summer. I have plans to visit some galleries here in nyc, as well as in California. I also am working on a book- which I hope to have published in this lifetime!


Park: What are you the most ? A Real Doll lover or a photographer ?
Me: I am a Realdoll Photographer. Hands down.


Park: What are your other projects ?
Me: I am currently working on some beauty/fashion stories with the dolls and plan on getting them published here in the states. I believe that if I remove the sexual aspect of the dolls- the USA will be more open to them. Once they accept them, I will open the flood gates and drench them with my edgier stuff!


*the above photo is Ami Lynn...a bona fide M.I.L.F if I ever saw one!!!! Her husband is icky, sweep her off her feet guys!!!

I Love Dolls...

I don't give a fuck...I do.

Having spent almost every day since my birthday inside the apartment in a bona-fide funk, I have regained my appreciation for dolls. It never left, mind you...it simply took a back seat to my photographing humans. I want desperately to photograph people, but I get nothing from it except a myriad of bills. Nobody wants to pay me to photograph shit- except doll companies. That's fine...

for now.


Somehow, I have to make my way out of this funk. It's a solitude one, and I am not embracing it. It sure let's you know who your true friends are though...


*the above doll is my BoyToy Doll with a new face named, Gia DeLuca. She is a Miss March and can be purchased from www.BoyToyDolls.com