I hibernate because I am a bipolar bear....

Sometimes I get bummed out BIG time- that's all I want to say about that.

On the bright side of life I am (99%) getting a magazine cover- I must always hedge myself in case they decide against it, this is residual from my Wall St. days. I am happy that it's a bit more mainstream then where I have been published thus far. I have only had my Realdoll photography used in advertising and a local CA porno magazine. Not something you'd put in your portfolio....so needless to say this is a step up and I am rather chipper about that...


I am also going to be lugging one of my dolls to a studio where I will be photographed, photographing it. I will then proceed to drop trou' again for the "Dynamic Duo". I worked with Gen Nishino and Debbee May (modeling for Playboy SE) what now seems like 100 years ago. Well regardless, this shoot will be occuring on Friday, and I can't wait until it's over so I can eat some cookies. I hate starving for a shoot, because I feel more depraived then if I were dieting for no reason at all. It would appear that I have been obsessing over banana pudding with nilla' wafer cookies.....mmm, nilla' wafer cookies......

see what I'm sayin' ?

Saturday we eat like kings, and then go see that movie '300', I am already in love with it for the cinematography alone- pure fucking genius.


The shot above is for the magazine.

The Sow is MINE!!!!!!

Ahh, recognize that line from anywhere?? It's actually from the movie 'The Exorsist'. I used it because according to Chinese horoscope, it is the year of the Pig. Supposedly, this is my year....

Tell me what you think:
No sooner do I toss a dart ay Playboy for losing it's edge, do I receive an email from Debbee M. with the title "You". Much to my suprise they are thinking of putting me in the main issue as Employee of the Month as a photographer. pfftt. of course I said SURE! I sent off about ten photos of me from every concievable angle, and I am waiting to hear back from Debbee. As soon as Chicago makes a decision- I'll know for sure. I could use the exposure as a photographer.

As if that weren't strange enough, I am then contacted THE NEXT DAY- by an editor for Playboy telling me that it's too bad they have plans for Susie DaSilva (read the last post to find out about her) because they would like to use my photo of her guzzling milk in a future issue (see above). In fact he told me that if there is any photo I take that may interest him, to forward it to him, because he is keeping a file on me...I have a file at Playboy??



....I have always said swine is devine

People Are Strange When You're a Stranger....

It's true...and Jim Morrison came up with that long before the internet was around. I shudder to think what he would say about it had he been around for the world wide web. In the last couple of weeks, I have been exposed to the ugly side of the internet- From obsessive models writing me daily to other photographers scamming to meet me- I am more then a little shaken up. I am somewhat of a recluse dispite the fact that I'm married. Ah marriage...*sigh, that's a whole other story...

Well, I started my first photography class and it was wonderful. A few things happened that made everything fall into place...I was on a waiting list for a night class- due to a high demand they added one. This was a good thing for me for two reasons, first the teacher is a female- I can't pull any bullshit with a woman, which is what I did to male teachers my entire scholastic career. Secondly the class I was originally signed up for, was being taught by a photographer who does portraits. Not the cool interesting kind, but the plain graduation type headshots. The class I wound up in is far better suited for me because the teacher was a painter (so am I) and is heavy on the artistic side of photography. THIS is what a self proclaimed 'Glamour" photographer needs to break the monotony....

unrelated:
So awhile back I received a message from a beautiful model who said she wanted to shoot with me. I was enamoured with her face the moment I layed eyes on it. When I asked her what style she was interested in- she said 'Ellen Von Unwerth'. Now. if you have ever seen my portfolio, then you know- I (nor anybody else for that matter) am no Ellen Von Unwerth. I took this to mean that she in fact was NOT interested in working with me. So I let our correspondance slowly drift off of the main page and outta' site. Thing is- I can't stop thinking about how much I want to shoot with her. I'd love to give black and whites a fair shot. Besides I still adore her face!!! I am all wierd about contacting her now, but I feel it rearing itself and know that I'll write her soon. I'll bet she never responds...I can't say I blame her.

Well, I have many shoots lined up and all with STUNNING models!!! The first shoot is most important to me, because it is with Susie Da Silva. She is the first realgirl I photographed (as opposed to the dolls) so our first shoot together was sub-par to both of our current work. She is beautiful and just as sweet. I actually made an introduction between her and Playboy...and needless to say she will be in Aprils issue. I really hope she becomes a Playmate- she is certainly pretty enough.

I used to want to shoot for Playboy, but I am SO over that too. Outside of pretty lighting- the photos are boring. That's right- I said it...BORING!!!!! Just cheesy poses, of made up girls...I see that every day. Playboy hasn't been that same since Helmut Newton passed away. He was their only contributing photographer that had art coursing through his veins. Besides, the quality of girl they use for the centerfold has slipped to the "Everygirl USA" thing. When I was younger,the Playmates were special. and the way they looked was totally unattainable to us regular folk. If I want to look at a regular girl all I have to do is walk around the city for awhile...they're everywhere. I miss Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy (sp?) types...

I'm going to Miami this Thursday. Woot! I need some sunshine, cuz I'm not getting ANY sex. Apparently I gave it up for marriage...