Lap Whore...

need I say more?


*the above pic is of my cat Mikey and his doll Suki

Anti Matter...

I am.

I have a new doll on the way. She is my first Black doll with a lovely head I've named Monica and an alternate head (that is an Indian/Bollywood head) whom I've named Tara.


I have to tell you, I haven't shot any people lately. Initially I wanted to wait until after my heart surgery because I won't be able to lift the dolls for the four months following the surgery (my husband will help me out thankfully). I figured during that time, I would concentrate mostly on shooting humans. Until then- it was to be all dolls all the time. Basically take advantage of my strength while I've still got some! But now I am starting to feel my depression lift and I find the need to have somebody stunning (and breathing) in front of my camera. I am going to call on my two favorite models, and ask them to shoot with me (separately).

One is the stunning Ami. You've seen her photo here a bunch of times. I am enamoured with that womans natural beauty. Her face is Swedish perfection and she is a wonderful person to boot. The other model is Cristi (pictured above). I adore her. Gorgeous, lithe and dangerously intelligent, I love to photograph her. She is edgy and fashion all at once and lest I forget, sexy as hell...





* (in my best old timey gangster accent) the above photo is Cristi smoking all seductive like, see.

Me, Myself and I...

Took an impromptu trip to Miami with the husband last week... Had a kick ass, sex filled time.


I am supposed to get a big spread (about 6 pages) in a new art photography magazine based out of Milan and NYC. I don't want to jinx it, so I will tell you more about it as it gets closer to being released.

I don't have too much to say. Truth is I am having a bout with depression. Fear not, my sanity will be back soon...



*the above photo is Maya and Pricilla (a Realdoll and a BoyToy Doll) getting busy!

Realdolls...

...are so adorable!



*the above photo is of Realdolls Hana (who has left us for a man in Connecticut), and Daniela.

le fumeur...

This isn't the first realdoll that's taken up smoking... But she may be the sexiest.


As an aside, big hugs and kisses to Davecat!



*the above composite is Maya a Body7/face2 Realdoll

Heartless...

I am not...


But I am going to be fine (yay!). My heart will get fixed on May 22nd, that's a long way off. So if the Doctors don't think it's an emergency than I must be okay!!!! The reason my right ventricle is enlarged, is because of the hole in my heart. As it turns out, I was born this way and just never knew it. The only issue that is residual from this defect, is because I didn't fix it when I was a child- my life span will be shorter. Big frickin' deal, to me it's just one more reason to embrace each day.



Knowing is half the battle!!!!!



I am so fucking happy about everything, I don't even care that I have to have some minor heart surgery. Bring it.




*the above photo is my doll Suki, and she is heartless...much to my chagrin.

I'm bringing sexy back.....

I missed being lighthearted.

Something clicked inside of me today. I had a very personal moment with myself and now I feel the need to cheer the fuck up.



*the above photo is Suki, my favorite doll..........for now

Comfortably numb...

I want to thank all of you who have left comments on my previous blog. You all have no idea how nice it is. Seriously, thank you.


So, I've had my moments but I am strong. And in the end I will be fine.

Here's what I know thus far: I have been misdiagnosed once already, but now know that I have a medium sized hole in my heart. The teensy blood clot that caused my TIA stroke probably traveled through the hole- up to my brain and into the right side somewhere. That was life's little warning for me. I think it was the best possible outcome (if your gonna' have a stroke, that is!). They will close up the hole through surgery.

gross.

I also have a slightly enlarged right ventricle which I am more concerned about than the hole in my heart. The right ventricle of the heart pumps blood to the lungs. Conversely the left side pumps blood to the rest of the body. That spooks me quite a bit because an enlarged right ventricle is often caused by an underlying disease. Most of those diseases are fatal.

Wish me luck.


I am nervous to find out the results of the most recent barrage of tests. I find out more this coming Tuesday....I can assure you the worse the news is- the longer it will take me to post about it here. It's been taking me a bit of time to adjust to this new chapter in my life, a disease would be a tough pill to swallow....but so is life.





Now I want to talk about something that has secretly been freaking me out....

When you face your own mortality, you go through some odd emotions. I began to google all of my old friends, some I have mentioned here and some I have not.

One friend in-particular was Patty. She and I shared the same birthday (September 10th) and were in the same homeroom but different grades. When I met Patty I was already in my 2nd year of high school. David (whom I've mentioned before) and I were already best friends since the summer before I turned 13. David went to a different high school than Patty and I did, but we all became fast friends. It didn't take long before we would become completely inseparable. The Three Muskateers to the end!!!!!

But Patty simply woke up one day (she was 19 and I was 20) and decided she was done with me. Our friendship ended for no reason. None. I still wonder to this day, why she turned on me. I never did or said anything to hurt Patty, I loved her. I honestly think she became jealous of me. Anyway, David and I remained friends for a few years longer, as I watched him helplessly throw his life away to heroin.

Well, I googled Patty first and found her name on FaceBook. I thought to myself, maybe she actually did become a lawyer and that she was married with kids or something. I quickly reactivated my account and clicked on her link. What I read was heart breaking. She had passed away in 2002 at 29 years old. I searched the internet for any information on her that I could find, but there was none. I later found out she too had starting shooting heroin and subsequently died because of her lifestyle. I will never know the whole story, only that she threw her beautiful life away and I was very sad to learn of it.

Next I googled David. He had been trying to contact me since we last spoke on September 13th 2001. He had called from Malta to make sure I was okay after 9/11. I told him I was engaged and a stockbroker, and he was really happy for me. He wasn't as fortunate as me. His life was still a mess. I hung up and knew we'd never be friends again. In 2006 I started receiving emails from various websites that David was searching for me...but I couldn't look back. I was at a beautiful place in my life.

Anyway, I searched his last name on Facebook just as I had done with Patty. I found his youngest brother Darren. I wrote Darren a note and requested his friendship. Here is the initial exchange:




Needless to say, I broke down and spent the whole day crying on and off. So sad. God I loved that kid. I loved him like he was my blood. He will forever be missed and mourned by me.


So there you have it.


They are both dead.



*the above photo is Patty, David, and me at the Lincoln High School Prom (I'm the midget on the right with my eyes closed). I didn't attend Lincoln anymore, I transferred to private school. David was the only guy at the prom with two dates. He was so fucking adorable...all flossy! He rented a Limo and bought both Patty and me flowers. Good times.

R.I.P.

Emotionally frail, like a child....

Fuck.

My health is not great right now. I will write more when I can...right now I am a hot mess. The bad news is about my heart. I could live with a bad heart for awhile, or I could die any second...who knows. The heart is weird like that. That is a fact. My heart caused my stroke. That too is a fact. I might need heart surgery...that remains to be seen.


Please understand I am scared, but I will adjust.


with love,
Stacy


*the above photo is me photographing Daniela V., this pic was shot almost a year ago in much happier and less frightening times.

The opposite of garbage dick (or, 'Why Retouching is king')...

I recently recieved an interesting phone call from an interesting person who offered me interesting pay to shoot his two "friends" from Florida. I obliged, thinking I would probably be shooting your average cute Florida chicks. No problem.

Well suffice to say I was a bit perturbed, when I met the girls...it was more than obvious these two were in no way models. But I was going to try and make them look like models. They styled themselves and did their own hair and make up. So, I failed to make them look like models. No biggie. But I am not taking the responsibility on this one. This is NOT a case of garbage dick. This is just me selling my skills/soul to average folk.






*the above before and after is two regular...uh, girls.








This blog post was made for Cristi!!!

retouching sucks...

...conversely, out-takes rule!!


*the above photo is not yet retouched- that's Cristi, my baby Mikey, and the rubber hussies.


the best!

If I were a dude...

I would be a garbage dick.




At least that's what my husband calls me. When we walk around the city, I point out attractive girls that I think are do-able (which apparently happens far too often). My hubby agrees with about 1/3 of my picks, and calls me crazy the rest of the time. I don't care if a girl is plump, or short, or skinny and boobless! If she has a pretty face and caries herself well- I'd hit it.

...if I were a dude, that is.


Don't confuse my lax taste for the average female, to be on par with women I would photograph. Those are two totally different worlds!!!

*the above photo is Ami, she is both "photograph-able" and "do-able"

tee hee...

...it was the sneakers, not my feet after all!


(see post below)



*and once again, the stunning Saglara

I'm Slowly Turning Into You...

Isn't it funny how the longer you're with someone, the more you start to pick up each others traits.

My socks smelled like my husbands toes after a shoot yesterday.


That is fucking disturbing.


Have you ever smelled my husband's toes? Not good, people. There are people who actually never take the time to scrub their feet. Now, I'm not saying that it's all men in-particular...but I have noticed a trend amongst most men I've known- to skimp out on this very important step in personal hygiene. Let's just say my husband is from the school of thought that, "the soapy water has to pass over the feet, so they're clean".

I however take overly indulgent showers- taking extra caution to scrub in between each individual toe with a washcloth!!! So you see, my feet should smell like daisies- not like my hubby's feet!


Sorry I didn't post for awhile, I think from now on, when there has been a period of time where life is dull and consists of little more then dinner out and some over due retouching...I will post photos or something just to let you all know I am thinkin' bout this blog and those that like to read it!!!

On a side note; an update if you will:

My Husband and I have been together for a long time now. We've been through some rough patches- but in the face of a crisis (the ol' Strokey McGee thing) your relationship strength is challenged. It is then that you learn how important your partnership really is. Since the stroke, my husband and I, have each put 100% into making our marriage stronger. I wish I could bottle the emotions we've gone through together- and our ability to resolve our issues. I am proud that we are both on the same page. I was really worried about my marriage...I'm not now. And why should I?


We fucking rock together.

*the above photo is Saglara. She is a fashion model and therefore she is clothed! I am sorry to disappoint my fellow perverts, but every once in awhile the naughty takes a back seat to beauty. Saglara is stunning. A living doll from Russia.

19...

she turned last week.


Carolyn that is.


No matter. She is still perfect.

*the above photo is Carolyn.