Howard Stern

is funny guy.

But I kinda doubt they'll have me on the show. After a quick conversation with 'Will', I think he was disappointed that I don't bang the dolls silly...lest we forget, I don't have a weenie!!!


This might go nowhere.


Only time will tell. Or is it: Only 'Will' will tell?

we shall see...





the above photo will be uncensored in my book...it's very naughty.

A Total Lapse in Judgement.....

I am dead ass serious. I had a melt down...After receiving a wonderfully glowing email from a well respected photographer (Published in Penthouse and numerous other places/magazines) about how I am on the brink of making it. I wondered how I was going anywhere if I don't do something about it. He mentioned how my Realdoll stuff is a springboard, and BAM!!!!!!!!! I shot off an email to Howard Stern.

Yep.

That's what I said...

Howard frickin' Stern.

Why the fuck did I do that?

I basically wrote and told them how I own two Realdolls and I photograph them. I told them about the book I am working on (of my Realdoll photos) and how I hope to have it published by Tashen. They asked if I could send a picture of me...and I did. Why? I am still not sure. But I did, I sent three pics. And by the morning they had asked for my number, and after 7 hours of pondering, I sent it to them. Why? Why would I do that to myself? Now I am sick to my stomach, but I just may go through with whatever gets thrown my way. Whatever that means, I'll let you know....



Did I mention I told them I would show my boobies?




*sigh* I told you it was a total lapse in judgement....

poignent ramblings......

or not.







I seem to have fallen off the face of the earth, but it's less cool then that- really. I fealt as though I had nothing to say, and so why fake it just to keep up the blog.

whelp, I'm back.

Soon after my return from St. Barts, I found out that while my dad was in Italy he fell off of a tiny cliff and broke 5 ribs and punctured a lung. He is nearing 60 and I am just happy he didn't break his neck and die. Needless to say I took a trip to Florida to visit him (he lives out there). He is doing much better and has learned a lesson in the process...I hope.

He was as drunk as a skunk.

Like alot of people in the world, alcoholism runs rampant in my family- which is the reason I hardly EVER drink. I am scared of it and the seductive powers it has over my genetics. That's not to say I don't have an addictive personality...you should see me around cookies- beyond pathetic. My Mom loves her vodka (and gambling) and my dad loves his scotch (and vodka). I love my weed and sweets. Although the sweets are probably a direct result of the weed....

On the photography front- I have been shooting like a mad woman- dolls, girls, girls and dolls. I am thrilled to be doing so, because I love shooting as much as I love the weed and sweets.


Who am I kidding?


I would give up the weed and sweets for photography in a second.


The above photo is Daniela V. who is just fantastic in every sense of the word. She and I get along so well, I'll know her forever....

Saint Barthelemy, the French West Indies.....

I love the French.

The men, the culture, the food......I had a fantastic time in St. Barts and at the same time I learned that I suck at photographing nature!


St. Barts is a beautiful little island and Eden Rock is one of the best places to stay. If you ever have some extra ching to drop on a vacation- GO!!!!! And stay at the Eden Rock. We stayed in the Micheal suite, which had a view over looking the ocean and it's own dipping pool. It was a recipe for love! Lots of naughty, naughty love!!!!! I would be kidding myself if I didn't mention the beautiful British boy, whos family owns the resort. He was about 22 and PERFECT. yummy British boy.......who can be seen starring in my fantasies for the next few weeks!


My favorite photos from the trip have my husband totally naked in them - and I do not have his permission to post those....so these will have to do.

Gay Bob...

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Boobs Schmoobs.....

My schedeuled shoot last weekend was to be partially shot outdoors...

As I suspected the plan was foiled by Muffy and her faux friends Warner and Babs....There was a Park Avenue princess party in the glass room on the roof of my building, so I couldn't possibly be up there shooting a model with HUGE boobs and silver star nipple pasties...or could I?

Nah, so we shot some stuff indoors. poo.

I really wanted to shoot my roof idea, I am severely limited by the redundancy of my apartment, where I currently have done EVERY FUCKING SHOOT. I am bored with my space and I want us (my husband and I) to buy a loft. I have come up with some amazing ideas for future shoots but I really need more space to execute them. Maybe my husbands comfort level will rise, and we will buy a loft sooner rather then later. In the meantime, I'll keep perusing the New York Times Real Estate section (online of course) in hopes that I find an offer he can't refuse...I'll have to come up with some type of a pitch with charts and finacial breakdowns, because my husband is a hard sell- so much so, that his is nick name at work is "The Reaper".

Well, enough of my pipe dreams- I have good news. I have just recieved in the post, two new faces for my Realdolls, which is fantastic for the book...I am so much closer to getting my shit together to hit the publisher I have in mind. I have been shooting my ass off and it's all for the book.

the book
the book
the book

The above photo is dedicated to B.T.Charles, because he gets it....and I like him because he gets it...my dolls that is.

Sometimes it's My Life I Can't Taste.......

Did you ever find yourself just existing? Not in a bad mood, not in a good mood....just there. I sorta' have been living this way for the last couple of weeks. I am not sure why, but shooting the dolls only- is not helping any. I have been putting together a mock-up of the photo book I'm working on. It's a smaller incomplete version of what I envision. I will use this 8"x12" mock-up to pitch to some publishers...we'll see how all that turns out.

Well, one way to reignite the lost spark, was to book some photoshoots with living breathing models. So I trolled around MM (a model/photographer networking site) and found some beautiful girls to shoot. The end of the week brings the biggest challange for me. I have almost always shot in a controlled environment- not suprising, since I am a Virgo. But this time I will be on the roof of my building, with the empire state building as the backround (I live eight blocks away). The dilemma is twofold:

1) Do I ask permission of my building and risk them forbidding me? or shoot gonzo style and risk Muffy, Buffy and all the Park Ave princesses being offended???

2) ring light or strobe.

There will be two people in the photo...a blurry man in the foreground, camera right, and a HOT girl with nipple pasties and a thong, 5' away from the man. I dont want the man lit as much as the woman, and I don't have an assistant- and therein lies the problem.

Well the shoot is on Saturday @ 6:30 pm, so that gives me some time to work out the kinks.



did someone say kinks?








The photo is a shitty old shot of the dolls in a series called "Taylor Welcomes Tabitha"
The title is from a Korn song entitled 'Freak on a Leash'

Ring Around The Rosie...

If my lens was named Rosie.

So I have had in my posession, the LaChapelle book since Friday. This has given me enough time to look at roughly half the book (it's friggin' HUGE). One thing I notice photo after photo, is LaChapelle loves himself a ring light. I have heard enough about their even lighting to want to check one out myself...so I rented one from Alkit Camera. It works better with LaChapelles style, I find the lighting too flat for my personal taste. The following photo is an example....







I start my second class @ ICP this week and I am super excited!!!! Look out world- a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

9/11 + 365 = 2272

A series of events following 9/11 brought me and my husband together. We didn't know eachother that day, but true love would be found because of it...

I was involved with a guy who wanted to change everything about me, we'll call him Dr. Dick (because he was a cardiologist). It was the day after my 30th birthday and I was down in the dumps. It was early and Dr. Dick called to see if I was feeling better and if I enjoyed spending my 30th at home sulking. I was NOT feeling better and just wanted to get the hell off the phone and have a pitty party for myself, so we hung up.

and there it was.

right in view out of my living room window.

the first tower was hit...I ran and grabbed my film camera with a 200mm lens and I began snapping away. How would they put the fire out? Was my first thought, and then the second tower. I caught the whole thing on film, I was crying and snapping, roll after roll...

after a week in front of the television, not eating, smoking waaaayyyyy too much- just crying in a deep depression. With the average age of the victims of September 11th being 32 years old, I realized life is too short to be unhappy. So I dumped Dr. Dick. How could I be with a man who hates everything about me? I am not a blue blood, I am not a W.A.S.P., I am a true Ginny from Brooklyn, NY. Deal with it.

So there we were, a year later in a Starbucks. Both single and both Wall Street suits. Our eyes locked and that was it. We talked a little bit each time we saw eachother and finally sat down one day to talk over a caramel macchiato. And we fell in love, right then and there. After a long engagement, we finally got married last year on April 13th in City Hall. Yep, I said it- City Hall. I fucking hate weddings.

But I love him.

And this Friday we were together officially for one year. The hallmark suggestion for a one year anniversary gift is paper, boring ass paper. But he one upped me with his creativity and bought me what I have drooled over for some time now...




That's alot of paper.

Bokeh....

This is NOT.

What it is...is "undesirable bokeh", because the foreground is also out of focus. I kinda' like it though because I dodged and burned to give her as much life as possible, I think I had some level of success. Rare is the photo of a realdoll with soulful eyes...ok, not so much rare as never...

But sometimes I swear I feel them looking back at me.

I'm All That and a Dime Sack...

Where the paper at?

Ok, put aside the improper english- I couldn't have said it better myself. That is a line from a song called 'Gimmie the Loot' from the uber talented (and sadly deceased) Notorious B.I.G.. I was, and I suppose still am, a HUGE fan.

During a wonderful lunch with the genius photographer James Graham, I learned a fact that I had long suspected....
We artists' will sell our soul, for some recognition. Sad really, if you ask me. I was not paid for 'Lifelounge' magazine, and I later found out that JMGenius, along with countless other amazing talent have also given up rights, and allowed their art to printed for gratis as well. Where did we all go wrong?

oh well.

Not on this one...

I am going to dive back into shooting again after having gone on hiatus for awhile (due to my mothers health and the sublime sadness). Slowly but surely I'm getting my photos in order for a mock up of a book I am working on. It is what else...but a book of Realdoll photography. I have been struggling with whether or not I should include some of my sub-par earlier works? Not many mind you, but as time goes by, the dolls lose their ability to pose as well as they can when they are brand new. Some of the earlier poses can't be replicated because of "loose joints", as we Realdoll folk' call it. I have officially set a deadline for myself- 30 new doll photos by May 1st. It sounds easier then it is, photographing Realdolls is not NEARLY the simple task some people may think.

Trust me on that one.




The above photo is my first cover, photo courtesy of Lifelounge.com. My copies should be arriving this week!!! I can't wait to see the inside.

Good vs. Bad

First off a joke that I stumbled across today...

What's the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???


Well it made me chuckle. Men- be thankful you have a coin purse and not a set of ovaries because PMS sucks. The other night on an impromptu run to Duane Reade- I was lucky, and timed it just as the the circus began the annual ritual of marching the animals across 34th street. When I got to the corner, the elephants were making their way past 3rd Ave and I began balling!!! Just crying for no other reason then having elephants before my eyes. Now if that isn't bananas, I don't know what is!!! Crying over elephants- can you believe it??





to confirm my suspicions that with the good comes the bad:

The good: Indeed, I did get my first magazine cover (Lifelounge)

The bad: PMS gave me pimples on top of my wrinkles!!!!




I have totally lost it.

It's a Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain...

Not too sure if you noticed, but I have been gone for awhile. My mom had a horrible health scare, and for unrelated reasons- I fell into a dark corner where I stayed for far too long. I was sad. Very, very sad. It never ceases to amaze me that a nice run of good things must almost always be followed by a slew of shit. I have started taking herbs, since I won't go on anti-depressants, and things are looking up. I can't allow this to happen. My poor husband, how he tried to cheer me up, such a sweet guy. He thinks I should go on the anti-depressants.

I don't want to dwell, I just wanted to share with you why I was gone.

My mom is doing better too.

I want to be chipper.





*the photo above was for a class assignment on depth of field. I missed that class due to temporary insanity. dammit.

That's quite a monkey you've got there....

I got another one today......an email from reunion.com telling me there is somebody searching for me. Well, I caved and joined for like a minute just to see who the hell it was....

I met David the summer before I turned 13. I was living in Brooklyn and extremely popular, he wasn't. But David was nice, and I could tell instantly he had a major crush on me. We became fast friends to the point of crapping with the door open (we were young and careless and perhaps a little twisted). We tried all the 1st's together- first time getting drunk, first time smokin' a doobie, first time cutting out of school. Hell we even stole our parents cars to "cruise" down 86th st. while we sang to the Beastie Boys. We would get money from our parents, then later that night take thier car to Flatbush and buy dime bags of shit weed off of some grimey mother fuckers. Once on a weed run we saw some kids light a bum on fire, we drove around the block twice just to make sure- we thought we were seeing things...we weren't

As we got older, we started to party hard at the Limelight on Wednesday nights, a.k.a. Disco 2000. David would eventually succumb to shooting heroin. He would rob his neighbors and eventually he would rob me. It was sad, his life totally fell apart, and I remember the volcano of a hole in his arm when he nodded off on my couch. A friend of ours was set up and murdered and David fell harder, it was a dear friend of ours, Ray. They had Ray meet them at a park and sliced his throat- then they proceeded to run him over...back and forth. David was no longer the David I knew. He had been jailed and married to drugs. I missed our friendship, in my mind David had died.

Well life has moved on and I am really in a lovely chapter of life. I have found my passion, my partner, and myself. I have left that chapter behind and was lucky enough to never make it past drugs like extacy, qualudes and weed. I will never know for sure why he is trying to contact me, because the David I know died a long time ago.

I hibernate because I am a bipolar bear....

Sometimes I get bummed out BIG time- that's all I want to say about that.

On the bright side of life I am (99%) getting a magazine cover- I must always hedge myself in case they decide against it, this is residual from my Wall St. days. I am happy that it's a bit more mainstream then where I have been published thus far. I have only had my Realdoll photography used in advertising and a local CA porno magazine. Not something you'd put in your portfolio....so needless to say this is a step up and I am rather chipper about that...


I am also going to be lugging one of my dolls to a studio where I will be photographed, photographing it. I will then proceed to drop trou' again for the "Dynamic Duo". I worked with Gen Nishino and Debbee May (modeling for Playboy SE) what now seems like 100 years ago. Well regardless, this shoot will be occuring on Friday, and I can't wait until it's over so I can eat some cookies. I hate starving for a shoot, because I feel more depraived then if I were dieting for no reason at all. It would appear that I have been obsessing over banana pudding with nilla' wafer cookies.....mmm, nilla' wafer cookies......

see what I'm sayin' ?

Saturday we eat like kings, and then go see that movie '300', I am already in love with it for the cinematography alone- pure fucking genius.


The shot above is for the magazine.